I don’t want to look like an hypocrite, saying stuff that are not true about me. Its because I have been there and I can look back and see the changes and the diferent person that I am now.
I have been there. Not necessary saying (bragging about) things that weren’t true or real (or at least in the same area code), but specifically, waiting for something good to happen in order to post it on social media. Of course I was happy and grateful about whatever good happened to me, but it was like having more fun posting it out there!! Well, you have to give me credit too, I was just a kid with different priorities…
Now, I rarely use the social media, just to connect with friends (and find out what they are bragging about, LOL). Anyway, today is a
special day for me (and my better half) and looking back to our relationship I know that now I am truly happy that I have finally found THE better half of me. So, I’ve been thinking, are we actually happy? Cause we are not posting every day a new picture of us loving each other, on Facebook, we don’t check in every weekend somewhere, when we do something fun, enjoying each others company, etc. Is that the way to measure the “happiness” and the “successfulness” of nowadays couples? Is it that we have arrived at the point when social media bragging is just a daily basis activity, that shows us if we are successful or not? Is it living in a “sell-buy” world , now we need to advertise love in order to get a better self-esteem, to sell a better relationship/life ?
I read a few studies on this matter, and most of them say actually, that most of the people with low confidence and self-esteem, tend to boost their relationship / life on social media.
“Research from Albright College in Pennsylvania has revealed that individuals high in Relationship Contingent Self-Esteem – a type of low self-esteem centered on how your relationship is going – are more inclined to post affectionate content, such as posts acknowledging ‘the best boyfriend in the world’ or other declarations of happiness.”
I am not trying to be sarcastic, saying that only phony people post stuff on Facebook. Its not true. As MUHAMMAD ALI, said in 7 Steps to Bragging the Right Way “It’s not bragging if you can back it up” there are genuinely happy people that when something really important for them happens, its going to be posted on Facebook. But lets be honest, I am sure that I am not the only one that have those annoying friends that probably the only thing that they don’t post on Facebook is when they go to the bathroom! (Sorry for my French)
I happened to meet a few people that shattered my knowledge about real true love. And I am not talking about the ones that, around friends try to be the couple of the century, I am talking about those, who in a completely strange crowd, or in the comfort of their own home and intimacy, they are the couple that share the love of the century!
Working in a restaurant a few hours a week, also gives me the opportunity to study people in different moments (as a intimate couple surrounded by careless strangers; or the couple surrounded by their friends or other family). I had a call for a reservation from a guy that made my day! He called for a reservation for their 15 years anniversary, and the way he talked about his wife, about organizing this surprise for his love, made my heart smile. That is true love, after 15 years I could still feel his love for his wife. You hink that 15 years is a lot? Hm, while a couple was waiting for their table (about 30 min) we alked about them and how much the enjoy doing different things together. And the way they talked about each other was so welcoming and warm, and I was a complete strange, that didn’t care about their perfect relationship. They were genuinely happy…. Every time they come, they are holding their hands, and stilling kisses from each other. They’ve been married for 47. That is a strong love!
So, back to my point – is advertising love a new thing today? Is it that nowadays, flashing a perfect life story in the faces of our friends, the main thing to do? Wasn’t this the Disney’s fairytales job? Cause its just getting depressing….. Seriously, It makes you wonder if you are the only one that doesn’t have a perfect life!but lets not forget that people usually post only the best moments. So its kind of wrong to compare your “back stage” life with the “on stage” life of the others… And we need to remember that nobody is perfect no matter how much they try to pretend to be on social media or even real life !!!
P.S. Even though I dont post pictures or stats that shows how happy I am, I i am really happy and in love right now!!! 🙂 just saying ….:)